Lazin’ on all the summer afternoons..

                                August 20th, 2021Posted by Nancy

                                The heat continues and it has managed to sap a good deal of my motivation to do much more than read, lie under the fan, and watch Youtube videos.

                                On the positive side:

                                • wrote 5,000 words in July.
                                • went to the museum for a safely-masked visit of two excellent new exhibits.
                                • had lunch on a patio twice.
                                • had my hair cut for the first time since November 2019. This was long overdue.
                                • had a wonderful visit with my brother and hugged my father for the first time since October 2019.
                                • I am getting a steady supply of beans, tomatoes, cucumbers, and zucchini from the garden. Anybody want some?
                                • resumed pulling up invasive plants as part of the local stewardship program.
                                • am on the verge of going back to dance class.

                                On the negative side:

                                • have not progressed farther than spray painting the frame on my latest mosaic..
                                • my 5,000 words may all get cut, as the scene I was writing seems to be neither necessary nor exciting.
                                • I continue to be adrift with regards to where either of my WIPs are going. Every bit of potentially interesting information I acquire through the aforementioned YouTube videos is just another shiny object and I dart from one to the next without any of them actually solving the numerous problems.
                                • it’s much too hot for either pulling weeds or dancing, so both activities are/will be less satisfying than they could be.
                                • the world is going up in flames and shows every sign it will continue to burn.

                                But cottage country is beckoning shortly, so will hope a dip in a cold lake will wake me back up and lead to a productive fall.

                                And for your amusement, and after a great deal of computer angst, a before and after.

                                Last haircut Nov 2019

                                Last haircut Aug 2021

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                                Wise Words from Jane

                                June 27th, 2021Posted by Nancy

                                “What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a constant state of inelegance.”

                                Jane Austen called it. I hate the heat and humidity of Toronto summer weather. I’m only grateful I’m not in B.C., where heat records are falling like nine pins. It’s not the time to be reading a book about climate change. Or maybe it is.

                                Off to put ice cubes on my feet….

                                No Comments | Add a CommentPosted in Influences · News · Uncategorized

                                What I’ve read – update

                                June 11th, 2021Posted by Nancy

                                I managed a lot of reading over the last three months, some of it frothy, some of it scientific, some of it unexpected. I know, I should have been writing, but c’est la vie.

                                Here are some of the memorable ones.

                                A fine selection of rock memoirs, including LAST CHANCE TEXACO by Rickie Lee Jones (who had a very … eventful … early life), BEESWING by Richard Thompson (wry and funny), and MY ROCK ‘N’ ROLL FRIEND by Tracy Thorn (a memoir of a friendship, a fellow musician, and the struggles of women musicians).

                                FICTION

                                The Ministry for the Future by Kim Stanley Robinson. This features one of the most horrific opening chapters I’ve ever read but, despite that, manages to be hopeful that we do indeed have a future on this planet.

                                The Hearing Trumpet by Leonora Carrington. Funny, mordant, and unpredictable. I’m glad I’m catching up with surrealist Carrington’s work.

                                The Fisherman by John Langan. I finally got around to reading this much-recommended horror/dark fantasy novel. It wasn’t at all what I expected but I liked it quite a bit. I don’t read much horror anymore but am slowing dipping my toes back into the genre.

                                Piranesi by Susanna Clarke. Clarke is not prolific but everything she publishes is a gem.

                                The Weekend by Charlotte Wood. One of those books I couldn’t remember putting on my “wish list” and then being completely blown away by. The plot is simple: three older women go to clear out the cabin of a recently deceased friend. None of them seem terribly likeable – they’re spiky, snide, secretive, and often cruel to each other. Wood deftly reveals their characters and histories together and by the end I felt kinship, in some way, to all of them.

                                NON-FICTION

                                Astounding: John W. Campbell, Isaac Asimov, Robert Heinlein, L. Ron Hubbard and the Golden Age of Science Fiction, Alec Nevala-Lee. I did not know a good deal of this and found it fascinating.

                                The Storm before the Storm: The Beginning of the End of the Roman Republic by Mike Duncan. I listen to his Revolutions podcast and enjoyed this history of Rome before the big three (Julius, Pompey, Antony) start in on warring.

                                Empire of Pain: The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty by Patrick Radden Keefe. The Sacklers make me wish there was a Hell they could go to in death, because in life, they’ll likely stay rich off the destruction of other people’s lives.

                                KIndred: Neanderthal Life, Love, Death and Art by Becky Wragg Sykes. Detailed but understandable book about our growing understanding of the complex life of our early relatives.

                                Uncanny Valley by Anna Wiener. A memoir about being a woman (and a literary type) working in Silicon Valley during the tech boom. A nice tonic to the general worship of tech bros.

                                Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow. The book that inspired the musical (will that be it’s big claim to fame?) Naturally, AH is a more complicated, annoying, wrong-headed, brilliant character than can be accommodated in a play.

                                A Libertarian Walks into A Bear by Matthew Hongoltz-Hetling. A fascinating look at what happens when a group of libertarians move to a small, poor New Hampshire town to create their dream world of freedom. Turns out the bears don’t care about your politics.

                                No Comments | Add a CommentPosted in Books · Uncategorized

                                Brainstorming

                                May 31st, 2021Posted by Nancy

                                Figuring stuff out with Che Guevara’s help. Photo: Nancy Baker

                                I usually alternate monthly writing goals between actual writing and planning/plotting projects. April was Camp Nanowrimo and I managed my goal of 10,000 words – but it became clear I needed to make some decisions. May therefore became “brainstorm and decide” month.

                                Some of the questions on the table included:

                                • What exactly is the religion?
                                • Who are the rulers during the period of the story?
                                • What do Royal Magicians actually do? How are they chosen?
                                • What bad things did Olivier do to people?
                                • Who burned his studio?

                                Now you might think those are major issues that should probably have been solved before one novel was at 80,000 words and the other at 20,000. You might well think so. Welcome to Nancy’s backwards writing process. For brainstorming, I get out a large black scrapbook that my sister decorated with various clippings as a Christmas gift. I start by summing up what I’ve already written into the text (which doesn’t mean it won’t change) and then asking: what does X HAVE to be in order to satisfy the demands of the story I’m NOT willing to change.

                                For example, with the question of the religion, the “givens” in the text included:

                                • there are churches and regular services
                                • there are entities/figures that function as Saints
                                • no Christ equivalent
                                • cloistered communities exist
                                • magic is not considered sinful, except in some small sects

                                The elements that were implicit in the story so far included:

                                • not extremely gendered – no assumption of women as evil, for example
                                • doesn’t come up in conversation among magicians a lot

                                I need it to be:

                                • ok with magic – no doctrine against it
                                • Cloistered orders – male and female
                                • not overly concerned about prosecuting regional heresies unless they threaten magic
                                • not main cause of conflict with other countries

                                Once I’ve outlined those categories, I start writing down thoughts and questions. For example: What if Saints are more like minor gods vs historical people?

                                I’m constantly aware that I’m likely failing miserably at concocting a believable alternate religion and no doubt missing some major important said religion would have on the society – but eventually something clicks and I have enough of an idea of how it fits together that I can decide “yep, that will do.” It might not work for sociology or anthropology but it works for my purposes. And sooner or later, I just need to put a pin in it and move on. So I do.

                                June’s project is to try to integrate all my decisions into the existing text and write the bits I’d been putting off because I needed to figure out the religion or how Royal Magicians were chosen or just who burned down Olivier’s studio.

                                No Comments | Add a CommentPosted in Writing

                                Art on the Walls

                                May 17th, 2021Posted by Nancy

                                I’ve gone on a lot of walks over the last year. I’ve got several regular routes, some of which involve the alleyways of garages that are common in my area. In my perambulations, I’ve discovered that there’s lots of interesting art on garage doors and back fences. I decided to assemble some of my favourite photos and throw in some extra shots from my travels. Art really is everywhere.

                                Photo by Nancy Baker

                                There’s a 7-11 that’s destined to become a condo (everything in Toronto becomes a condo eventually) but in the meantime boasts a beautiful, detailed mural.

                                Photo by Nancy Baker

                                These birds never fail to perk me up.

                                Photo by Nancy Baker

                                This octopus wishes to have words with you, sir.

                                Photo by Nancy Baker

                                All the garages facing a local park have been adorned with lovely graffiti. I was beginning to despair of finding something more my speed when this beauty appeared.

                                Photo by Nancy Baker

                                This was gone the next time I went by but it did seem intentional so it counts.

                                Photo by Nancy Baker

                                When a giant “TAKE THIS AWAY” sign just won’t do.

                                Photo by Nancy Baker

                                I don’t know the intention behind this but, naturally, assumed some sort of alchemical incantation to transform the world. Or at least summon the Octopus.

                                Photo by Nancy Baker

                                All the way from Florence, Italy. This little fellow was featured on many walls in 2017.

                                Photo by Nancy Baker

                                In 2015, we saw many street signs transformed by these figures. When we went back in 2017, the artist had a shop where you could buy your own stickers. So, of course, I did.

                                Photo by Nancy Baker

                                More commentary from Florence.

                                Photo by Nancy Baker

                                Not exactly street art – but how could I resist? Punks not Dead!

                                Photo by Nancy Baker

                                Part of a gorgeous mural in L.A.

                                Photo by Nancy Baker

                                A creative installation in Riverdale.

                                Photo by Nancy Baker

                                Advice for living on Woodbine Avenue.

                                No Comments | Add a CommentPosted in Art · Uncategorized

                                Catch up, catch all

                                April 20th, 2021Posted by Nancy

                                This post has been on my ‘to do’ list for a while but I just kept pushing it out, because my level of productivity has rapidly declined since my working days. These days, if I manage to go for a walk, meditate, and knock one thing off my list, I consider it a good day. And since I planned this one, a number of things have happened, thus the title.

                                COVID: Last year I was actually hopeful that Ontario would come through things reasonably well. We had experience with SARS. Canada was making the right moves to support people. Once it was clear this virus was different, I understood the changing rules based on evolving knowledge. But we’re over a year into this thing. We know who is most likely to be infected (originally older people in long-term care, now people who have to work on-site in “essential”, precarious, and low-paid jobs) and we know what’s needed to keep them – and therefore the rest of us – safe (paid sick time, rapid vaccinations) but our government seems incapable of managing that. Last week’s announcement of more restrictions that don’t get to the heart of the problem, the relentless pointing of fingers at the federal government, the refusal to do what really IS required, sparked a level of anger (at least on the media I follow) that I’ve rarely seen among generally placid Canadians. It wasn’t the stupid anti-mask, we-must-go-to-church/the mall/the hairdresser/the bar, the vaccine is a plot by Bill Gates rejection of sensible precautions that is common in some area. It was a deep, angry howl of frustration that the government just didn’t seem to get it. Closing the playgrounds wasn’t going to fix the fact that the areas in the city with the highest levels of positive tests had the lowest rates of vaccinations. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I’ve had one shot of Astra Zeneca, because I could. I wear a mask on the TTC and around other people, because those are the rules intended to keep the most number of people safe. I hope for the best.

                                FAILING, Part I: I had big plans for the winter. I was going to make a flamenco video homage to Canadian artist/dancer/choreographer Francoise Sullivan’s “Danse dans le Neige“. I figured out what I was going to wear. I practiced the choreography. I found a spot in a local park that would work. I waited for the right day: not too cold, not too sunny, enough snow to dance in, no ice, midweek when there were fewer people around, a feeling of confidence in my dance. I figure there was ONE week when all of those things aligned – and I didn’t do it. I thought “I’m not ready. There’s time. There will be better weather, better snow, a better day.” And there never was. Well, I thought, I’ll do “Danse au Printemps” instead. And then I hurt my shoulder and haven’t been able to practice. The will starts to drain away.

                                FAILING, Part II: I came out of March’s reread of both of my WIPs feeling hopeful. I identified some next sections to write. I picked some things to brainstorm and then JUST MAKE A DECISION ABOUT (such as, what to call the nuns. Answer: just call them Sister and let it go). I decided to aim for 10,000 words for April as part of Camp Nanowrimo. The first 2,500 words ticked by nicely then it came time to switch projects for a bit. I started in on the Witch Novel sections and realized with a sickening feeling that there was a major plot point that I had just … glossed over. I’d written almost up to the pivotal moment. I wrote reactions several years after the pivotal event. But I’d never seriously thought about how said event would ACTUALLY happen. When I did, it was clear that it was going to be much more complicated than I’d first envisioned. Deflated, I skipped a day. I switched back to the Glass World project and ground out some more words. I skipped another day. Everything seemed drab and boring and lifeless. It still does. I know that I can solve the problem. I know that I can manage the more complicated version. I might have to rewrite some later reactions, but it doesn’t ruin everything. Except that it did, just for a while.

                                Which leads me to…

                                Reasons to Go On: A dear friend sent a link to an essay in the New York Times by Charles M. Blow called My Second Phase of Adulthood. So much of it resonated strongly with me. In this pandemic time, I’ve taken to reading obituaries in the local paper, not because I expect to see anyone I know (I’m not THAT old) but because so many people have had fascinating lives. A generation is passing who grew up during WWII, escaped from prison camps, took the huge leap of faith of immigration to a foreign country, and built lives and families and businesses (and cottages) here. But it’s always the families that matter the most, for both the men (mostly) who built the businesses and the women (mostly) who built the connections that were the most important at the end. Included in those connections were children, grandchildren, friends, and caregivers.

                                This leads inevitability (and tediously) to imagining what could be said of me. I have no children, I’m nobody’s grandmother. I wrote four novels, none terribly successful. I have good friends, I have a beloved husband, I have a nice life. I still find beauty and wonder in the world. I love art and music and history and Venice. I give to charity. I try to smile at people (from behind my mask) but I’m still an introvert. I try to be kind but I’m often lost in my own thoughts. Is that enough?

                                In his column, Blow reflects on the introspective that pandemic has forced on him. He resolves to live “boldly, bravely and openly’ and to “cut myself some slack and get on with being a better person”. This seems like a good resolution. I’d like to be bolder, braver, and a better person. I fail at all three regularly.

                                He quotes Dorian Corey in the documentary “Paris Is Burning”:

                                “I always had hopes of being a big star. But as you get older, you aim a little lower. Everybody wants to make an impression, some mark upon the world. Then you think, you’ve made a mark on the world if you just get through it, and a few people remember your name. Then you’ve left a mark. You don’t have to bend the whole world. I think it’s better to just enjoy it.”

                                and then concludes “When I am gone, and people remember my name, I want some of them to smile.”

                                I know I’ll never really make a mark, and that’s ok. I’d like to say that frees me to write more bravely, to do more interesting and daring things – but the truth is every word is still hard, my worldbuilding is frustrating and inadequate, and my ability to plot is marginal. I’d like to say that I will do bold and imaginative things like dance in the park – but I might chicken out, too afraid of making a fool of myself. I’d like to say that I will be a better, kinder person and make a difference in the world. But most likely I’ll muddle on just the way I am.

                                But I think there are a few people who will smile when they think of me and I’m willing to work to make sure that stays true. That’s good enough for me.

                                2 Comments | Add a CommentPosted in Flamenco · News · Writing

                                You edit 243 pages and what do you get?

                                April 2nd, 2021Posted by Nancy

                                A long list of questions, things to research or brainstorm, somewhat fewer words than when you started, and far fewer answers than you’d hoped for.

                                April was editing month and I actually printed out all 243 words of my main WIP (aka The Witch Novel) in hopes of getting a new perspective. Some thoughts:

                                • this is the first thing I’ve ever written that has no chapter breaks at this point. The only divisions are between narrative voices. It feels very strange but there’s also no meaningful way to add breaks at this point
                                • some of the prose is pretty damned nice
                                • writing in second person is lots of fun
                                • I’m still struggling mightily with the exact shape of the plot and numerous aspects of the plot
                                • I get very annoyed with “Europe with the serial numbers filed off” fantasy novels and here I am writing a “Europe with the serial numbers filed off” novel. Serves me right, I suppose.

                                I also edited the 32 pages of the Glass World Novel Take 2, which has many of the same problems. I’ve just changed Europe to “New York Hudson River Valley, possibly in the 1930s” but have still filed off the serial numbers, sort of.

                                It’s been almost six years since I started the Witch Novel. I’m still hopeful I’ll beat the 17 years it took me to finish COLD HILLSIDE.

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                                What a drag it is getting old …

                                March 28th, 2021Posted by Nancy

                                If 2019 was the year of the sore hip (arthitic degeneration, muscle tear, cortisone shots, PRP treatment), then 2021 is shaping up as the year of the sore shoulder. A few months ago, I was out for my regular walk when my left shoulder, upper arm, and pectoral muscles started to hurt. I thought this was rather odd and therefore did what everyone does – I consulted Dr. Google. There was not much information on that situation, beyond the suggestion that it might have to do with posture and arm movement.

                                It continued to get worse, so I tried to keep track of what caused problems. Doing a plank or chaturanga in yoga seemed fine, but doing a chest press with weights did not. Doing front arm raises was fine but lifting my left arm above my head, especially when lying down, was not.

                                Finally I decided I’d better mask up and go to the physiotherapist, especially it seems as if every second woman in my age group seems to be getting frozen shoulder. After some prodding and various tests, the verdict was Shoulder Impingement Syndrome. I’ve been advised to avoid lifting my arm up too high (which means footwork practice only in flamenco), avoiding certain weight exercises, and doing some targeted exercises to strength the muscles around my shoulder.

                                Could be worse. And at least my husband and I can do our physio-prescribed exercises together, as he has tennis elbow.

                                No Comments | Add a CommentPosted in Uncategorized

                                After You’ve Watched LUPIN

                                March 12th, 2021Posted by Nancy

                                The French production of LUPIN on Netflix puts a fresh spin on an old story. If watching gentleman thief Assane Diop’s adventures have whet your appetite for the original, might I recommend the gorgeous new edition just released by my good friends at The House Of Pomegranates Press. As you can see, the cover has the perfect Parisian fin-de-siècle feel. You’ll also find lots of other beautiful editions of classic horror and thrillers works, as well as some undiscovered gems – and original novels by David Keyes (which I highly recommend. The writing is luminous, lush, and dryly funny).

                                The books are available through Amazon right now and will eventually be available direct from HoP. Be sure to follow them on Instagram to keep up with the new old publications.

                                No Comments | Add a CommentPosted in Uncategorized

                                What I read in January & February 2021

                                February 27th, 2021Posted by Nancy

                                In the absence of anything exciting to write about (yes, I’m writing, no, it’s not going well), here are some of the things I read and enjoyed over the last two months.

                                Plain Bad Heroines by Emily Danforth. A cursed book (maybe), a haunted school (maybe), three young women trying to get ahead, a movie that’s not quite what it seems, a past that isn’t quite past. This would make a great mini-series on Netflix.

                                Billion Dollar Loser by Reeves Wiederman. Subtitled “The Epic Rise and Spectacular Fall of Adam Neumann and WeWork”. Confirmed all my dislike of tech bros and “disruption” for disruption’s sake.

                                The Queen’s Gambit by Walter Tevis. Source of the Netflix series and well worth reading. Though you don’t get the fabulous clothes.

                                Field Notes from an Unintentional Birder by Julia Zarankin. I think I’ll settle for mildly observing birds in my yard, but this is was fascinating book about finding your passion later in life and being willing to love things you’ll never excel at. This is a lesson I’m working on.

                                The Miss Fisher Murder Mysteries by Kerry Greenwood. I watched all the shows and have finally started on the books. Short, fun, and full of all the lovely clothes, cars, attractive young men, and adventures that make the show entertaining. There are some significant changes from the series but the spirit is the same.

                                The Leftovers by Tom Perrota. In this case, I’ve never seen the series, which I understand is quite different. There are a few elements that made me go “hmm, not sure I buy that” but I liked it nontheless.

                                Where Am I Now? by Mara Wilson. A thoughtful memoir by the child star of MATILDA (and current voice of The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your House, for all you Nightvale fans). Very well done, and I was happy to discover that Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman are indeed very good people.

                                The End of The End of Everything by Dale Bailey. Dark Fantasy/horror short stories that go unexpected places. I didn’t remember why this was on my wishlist but it was a pleasant surprise.

                                Everything You Ever Wanted by Luiza Sauma. Science fiction-ish? Science Fiction Adjacent? If you could sign up to take a one-way trip to colonize another planet through a wormhole in the Pacific, would you go? If you’re a mid-20s digital content producer in London, you might. The book doesn’t focus on any of things usually front and centre in these types of stories, but concentrates on Iris’ motivation for going, her life in London, and how she copes with what she discovers on Nyx.

                                No Comments | Add a CommentPosted in Books · Uncategorized

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